Serve Up Some Self-Kindness this Thanksgiving
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Photo by Preslie Hirsch on Unsplash
Here’s the only food rule you need for the holidays.
Eat what you want. Enjoy it. Repeat.
There it is. That’s the only food rule you need this Thanksgiving.
I talk a lot about non-diet approaches to well being, why diets don’t work, and the ways diet culture and nutritionism harm us. While I fully believe that food can be medicine and there are fun and delicious ways to nourish and heal ourselves with food, that is just one way to be in relationship with food.
Yes, calories in the form of food are what keep our bodies humming. Yes, food can play an important role in nourishing and healing ourselves. AND, food is so much more than that — beyond food as fuel, or even as medicine.
You’re allowed to eat what you enjoy.
Food is also about pleasure, comfort, cultural traditions, connecting with community, celebration, ecology and our relationships with the land and other beings. When we pare our relationship with food down to calories in, calories out, and a number on a scale, we miss out on a rich cornucopia of food experiences and ways food can enrich our lives.
So this Thanksgiving, give yourself permission to eat and enjoy any food you want without judgement. When you eat what you enjoy you’ll feel more satisfied. Avoiding your favorite holiday foods just increases cravings (and resentment). Which can lead to bingeing later on. Besides, the balance of how and what we eat over time is more important and impactful for our well being than what we do on one celebratory day.
So go ahead — enjoy your feast and don’t feel bad about it. Here are a few things to keep in mind that will help:
Don’t skip meals in preparation (or in penance).
This almost always backfires anyway: by the time you allow yourself to eat you feel so deprived and over-hungry it makes it hard to enjoy your food and makes it more likely you’ll overeat to a point of discomfort. Skipping meals can cause low blood sugar, worse cravings, bingeing, digestive upsets, and general malaise. There’s nothing wrong with your hunger — go ahead and eat regular meals leading up to, and following, the big feast.
It’s o.k. to feel a bit too full.
Sometimes we are eating more for the experience or pleasure than purely for hunger. If you overshoot your hunger and end up a little too full, that’s o.k. This doesn’t make you a bad person, and it’s not the end of the world. You didn’t fail. Feeling overly full is temporary. Don’t beat yourself up about it.
On the flip side, it’s also o.k. to honor your fullness and decline second helpings or dessert, even if someone spent time making something special.
“Intuitive eating is not an eat when you’re hungry, stop when you’re full philosophy. That’s called a diet. ”
Enjoy those leftovers.
Eating what you enjoy applies to leftovers too! I’d argue leftovers are the best part of this holiday. There are so many delicious possibilities: hot turkey sandwiches (with gravy poured over), turkey salad, potato pancakes made with leftover mashed potatoes, pie for breakfast. Mmmmm.
“You have the right to eat pumpkin pie for breakfast.”
Ditch the clean your plate mentality.
Do you keep eating until your plate is clean, even if you’ve already eaten to fullness, because you don’t want to waste food? You’re not alone. “Clean your plate” has been drilled into many of us growing up. This is a common, but damaging, food rule especially if you’re trying to practice intuitive eating.
Not wasting food is a worthy goal, but using your body to save food from going in the garbage is not the answer. There are lots of other ways to reduce food waste. Start a compost pile, donate to an organization that helps feed hungry families or collect usable food “waste” for food pantries, volunteer, make a meal for those in need, share leftovers with friends or neighbors, have a leftovers potluck, etc. But don’t use your body as a garbage disposal.
“Using your body as a place to store the extras is not going to feed starving children or end world poverty.”
You don’t have to earn or work off your feast.
Don’t feel you have to burn calories before or after your holiday eating. Trying to earn or work off your meal will most likely make you resent whatever exercise you’re doing, which won’t motivate you to keep at it long term. Move your body because you want to, because it makes you feel stronger, better, or more energized — not out of guilt, shame, or fear of weight gain.
Make a plan for self care and set boundaries.
Plan ahead ways you’ll handle conversation about dieting, wellness protocols, comments or judgement about anyone’s body, habits, or helping sizes. You may take a direct approach and let the commenter know the harmful effect these topics have on you and that you’d rather talk about x, y, z. Or you may find a way to subtly shift the conversation in a different direction. Maybe you have mantras, breathing techniques, or other ways to manage. Perhaps you can step away (to the bathroom, outside, etc.) briefly to regroup. Thinking ahead about coping mechanisms you can use will help you feel less anxious or overwhelmed.
Celebrate you as you are.
It’s too easy to get caught up in guilt, shame, fear, or embarrassment when it comes to eating, especially at holiday gatherings. We think we should be eating a certain way, that’s usually different than what we are doing. Or we feel we should look a certain way, that’s different than how we actually are. But let’s step back for a minute and acknowledge how well we’re doing, where we are, as we are right now. Try to set aside diet culture pressures and expectations and step away from the self flagellation and stress for a time. Try to appreciate what you’re doing well, what your body is capable of, what you’ve been through together. Let’s practice a little self gratitude this Thanksgiving. You are enough, just as you are right this minute.
“And it’s okay to be thankful for yourself at the Thanksgiving table. Take a moment to appreciate where you are on your journey and where you’re going.”
Jenny Mahan is a Registered Nurse, Certified Health and Wellness coach, and owner of Pine Creek Wellness, as well as a multi-passionate author, singer/songwriter, artisan soap maker, chicken-wrangler, and reluctant runner.
She helps folks reclaim their health with holistic Lifestyle Medicine and a focus on adding in delightful nourishment, rather than restrictive diet culture approaches. Jenny lives in far northern Wisconsin near the shores of Lake Superior with her husband and son on their homestead.